Robert Townsend, president of AVIS in the 1960s, on “How not to hold an annual party”:
- Start at five in the evening instead of noon, so the company does not lose working hours.
- Invite husbands and wives, so the bosses do not entertain themselves by dancing with their secretaries.
- Make sure senior management is either absent altogether or appears for a couple of minutes — emphasizing the difference between them and the rest of us mere mortals.
- Invite clients and suppliers, so they become even more convinced that your company deserves their contempt.
- Save on the venue, food, drinks, music… A third-rate snack bar will do just fine.
- Do not spend on food and drinks. Snacks left over from yesterday’s wedding, a tray of sandwiches, and punch made from unidentified ingredients are perfect.
- Do not spend much on music either. Hire a tone-deaf accordionist whose idea of an original number is limited to the highlights of his youth.
- Kill two birds with one stone by combining the party with the company’s annual veterans’ celebration. That way, all your employees will see living examples (sorry for the expression) of what 25 years of work in your organization can do to otherwise healthy people.
- Better yet, put all of this on the shoulders of the head of HR and let them handle it as they see fit.
